D2: Talisman



  1. an object, typically an inscribed ring or stone, that is thought to have magic powers and to bring good luck.

I’m currently rereading Catherine Gray’s, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. I do this a lot. Reread Quit Lit for when I know a specific book will “speak” to me. When I need to hear a certain author’s voice in my head. Anyway, in one of Catherine’s chapters, she talks about how she’s carried a “My Little Pony” around with her ever since she got sober. She said that it reminds her of her childhood, her innocence, before booze ever messed up her life. It’s like her talisman. “See,” the My Little Pony says, “you can have fun with no alcohol. We had lots of fun together. Don’t drink, Catherine!”

Here is mine:

I saw this Cabbage Patch Kid figurine this past Saturday while my husband and I were out shopping in the Old Market. It looked so much like the “real” doll I was given for Christmas as a child that I instantly knew this HAD to be mine. I’ve kept it in my purse–for easy access–ever since I bought it. Has she “spoken” to me, yet? Has she helped me ward off my cravings? Nah, not really. I haven’t had to face many. But give the girl a chance. She’s new (ish).

I’m doing okay on this day 2. Not amazing. But okay. My husband left town this morning and won’t be back until late tomorrow night. In the past I’ve used his traveling as an excuse to dive into the liquor cabinet as soon I’ve gotten off work. While the kids play on their electronics, I down cocktails on the couch, watching Netflix. I sometimes stay up so late (much later than I would’ve had my husband been home), that I have to take a sleeping pill because I know I won’t get much sleep without it. I just numb out to the world.

But I’m not going to do that this time. I’m going to run my kids to their activities, pick up dinner for us, then come home and spend time with them (and our dogs), as a family. My daughter and I are in the middle of watching a movie that we had to stop a couple of nights ago; I think I’ll offer to finish that up with her. Or better yet, I’ll suggest to the kids that we ALL pick out a movie together. What I’m not going to do is shoo them off to their rooms or their basement. I’m going to be present with them. I’m going to get into my comfy jammies, light some candles, turn off the lights, and settle in with my children–both two-legged and four–and we’re going to have a nice night. When it’s time for bed, I will climb into mine, knowing that I’ve had zilch to drink and therefore will NOT wake up at 3:00 AM with a mild hangover. I can single-parent in the morning, having energy and be in good spirits.

“Sammie,” short for Samantha (the name of my old Cabbage Patch Kid) is nodding her little plastic head right now. She’s saying, “Yup, yup. Jammies, movie, spending time with kids. Also,” she whispers, “don’t forget the hot cocoa.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s