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Where I’ve Been and Where I’m Going

Facing Forward

So, I had a hiccup. I got through Friday night just fine without drinking. Actually, it was a good win. We had dinner plans with Brandon & Jennifer, a couple we rarely see anymore. We went to a Mexican restaurant, and while everyone else ordered house margaritas, I stuck to my guns and ordered a … Continue reading Facing Forward

Cravings (Day 5)

I chose the above picture for a sense of calm, something to look at while I’m writing about today’s TAE topic: cravings. Because just the word, “cravings,” sends off a trigger ALERT in my head. Funny, right? Ah… but the truth. So, yep, Annie Grace talked about what cravings actually are and how we can … Continue reading Cravings (Day 5)

TAE–Day 3 (Brain Chemicals)

Today’s TAE lesson talked about what drinking alcohol does to your brain chemicals, particularly your dopamine and serotonin levels. I won’t go into all the science–I’m not a doctor–but the gist of it was that when you drink, you artificially stimulate the reward centers of your brain, you flood it with these “feel-good” chemicals and … Continue reading TAE–Day 3 (Brain Chemicals)

TAE–Day 2 (Self-Talk)

Day Two of the TAE focuses on what I will call, “Positive mental outlook,” also the power of self-talk. It’s a two-pronged lesson. BOTH invaluable. With the mental outlook side, Annie says that if you go into this one-month alcohol-free experiment with a negative attitude, if you tell yourself that it’s going to essentially suck, then it … Continue reading TAE–Day 2 (Self-Talk)

Why Do I Do This?

I was dead set that I wasn’t going to drink all week. I felt pretty sure of myself. I even started counting the days off on my calendar. I started re-watching the videos on the Live AE website. I began a new quit-lit book. I journaled my new “reasons” to abstain. And I utterly failed … Continue reading Why Do I Do This?

From One Week Ago

In this book I’m reading called, Nothing Good Can Come From This, the chapters are their own individual essays. There’s one particular essay that really stood out to me, not because I agree with everything the author wrote, but because there was one paragraph that really stopped and made me think. Understand something about myself that I … Continue reading From One Week Ago

Huh

It’s a weird day for me. I feel at odds. Sort of wishy-washy, sort of… I don’t…. bored? Indifferent? Antsy? In some ways, I blame my therapist. She put the fricking idea into my head that I am capable of moderating. She–like Rob–pointed out how I’ve already successfully done this in the past year. She … Continue reading Huh

Punching Through

It is so weird how cravings work. One minute you’re totally fine, totally committed to your “B from B” (Break from Booze), and the next something minor happens that gives you a jolt of excitement, and your immediate thought is, “Woo-hoo! I want a cocktail!” And then starts the process of reigning that traitor thought … Continue reading Punching Through

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