D1: You Can Begin Again

Yep, anybody can. I CAN. YOU can. We ALL can do this together.

Feels like it should be a song, right?

Well, today I am singing it. 

Because… I have to.

Today is my Day One (D1).


For those of you new to my blog, let me introduce myself. My name is Shannon. Real name. No moniker. I’m now–(sigh)–45 years old. Halfway to my fifties. I’ve been married for over 16 years, have two children–a 14-year-old and an 11-year-old–have two dogs, a decent-sized house, a decent-sized yard, a full-time job, lots of family, very few friends, and unfortunately… I have an alcohol problem. I like it too much. I rely on it too much. I very MUCH want to drink it when I hit the door after work.

But I can’t.

Because I AM 45 years old. And it’s affecting me differently now that I’m–do I dare say it, “pre-menopausal.” Ugh. Just that word. But truthfully, it hasn’t even been since my late thirties or early forties. I have watched my alcohol intake over the past two decades grow increasingly heavier. I’ve found excuses to drink it more and more. I’ve wrapped all of my fun in it, made myself believe I CAN’T have fun without it. I’ve turned to it for solace. Comfort. Relaxation. I’ve “rewarded” myself with it, purposefully numbed myself with it. And yes, I know, I’ve become addicted to it; or let’s use that fancy phrase and say I’m pretty sure I have “AUD: Alcohol Use Disorder.” Because I check all the boxes.

So, today I’m just quickly checking in. Coming clean. My hope is that I can do this daily. That I can keep this real. I’m not too sure all that I’ll write about, if I’ll have anything noteworthy to say (or advice to impart), but maybe whatever I am able to post will resonate with someone else. Will help them feel a little less alone. Because I have to be honest, every time I’m forced to pick myself back up, I feel more and more alone in this battle.

Because it is, you know… a battle.


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