It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a blog post. Truthfully, I’ve been a bit…hesitant. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Disappointed.
But today marks a new commitment. A new challenge. I’m doing a 21-day reset with my “Sober Sisters” from a site I joined back in June. We completed the original reset together that month, and I even made it to July 3rd without drinking, but then I caved at a 4th of July party and since then, the past four weeks have been somewhat of a shitshow. I’ve basically given myself permission to drink whenever I’ve wanted. This past weekend was my booziest, yet.
It has to stop.
So…. today is Day One of my August reset. My Sober Sisters and I are doing Annie Grace’s, The Alcohol Experiment (TAE) together. I downloaded the app on my phone. I’ve already finished the prework Annie assigns and just tackled the first day’s material. The question she wants you to ask yourself on this day is what are your “Why’s.” First off, “Why do you drink?” And secondly, “Why do you want to take a break from drinking?”
My answer to the first (in no particular order):
To have fun
To relax at the end of a stressful or long day at work
Drinking “at” my husband, when I’m upset with him
When I hear bad news, as a way to cope in the moment
When I’m bored
To have some “me” time while watching Netflix or painting my nails in bed, etc.
To celebrate after being done with house chores
To celebrate after big events in life
To fit in with the drinking crowd–our friends, our families, the drinking culture in general
To silence the “Wine Witch” voice in my head
My answer to the second (again, in no particular order):
To get physically healthy
To get better sleep
To stop worrying about my long-term health
To discover other ways to cope with anger, disappointment, sadness, stress, etc.
To learn how to enjoy outings again without the need to drink
To get emotionally healthy–not be so depressed or anxious
To get mentally healthy–to have better memory and concentration
To discover myself, who I am at this age
To be a good role model for my children
To be a better, safer parent
To align my principles with God’s
To have more energy
To like myself again, feel proud, feel strong
To be less self-absorbed, be more present with family and friends
Each day, I’m hoping to transfer a little bit of the TAE’s message onto my blog. I’ll post about what I’ve learned, how I’m doing, write about my ups and downs–hopefully more ups then down (fingers crossed)–and maybe, just maybe there will be someone out there who reads this, who helps to keep me accountable, who comments, or simply just understands. Maybe they’re going through something similar of their own, and this will help.